Identify it….Allow it….Share it….Purge it
Emotional Self-Care
Emotions. We all have them. Some more than others. Some, in our opinions, have too much of them..…some not enough. To each his own, as my mother always says. Comparatively, our culture does not stack up very well against many cultures when it comes to emotional well-being and self-care. We Americans, we do not have time for emotions.
Nevertheless, we have them, and we tend to do a very poor job of taking care of them. No matter where you fall on the continuum, learning to take care of your emotions is a large part of self-care and overall wellness. Not doing so leads to a “subconscious heaviness” we would all do well to avoid. Unresolved emotions make up a huge chunk or our overall STRESS.
I had a great chat with our oldest daughter, just turned 27 years old daughter, soon to officially graduate from optometry school daughter, making her our “doctor daughter”….Taylor. Please tolerate my Dad-pride showing a bit here. We, in the Hall family, are very proud of her and her recent accomplishments.
Our chat was about how her week had been and how she had been struggling with feeling angry. Angry her last internship in Fort Lauderdale was not able to be completed. Angry her graduation was cancelled. Angry her well-organized plans for this phase of her life were all somewhat disheveled by the pandemic. She admitted she had been minimizing the feelings of anger over the past few weeks, and the reality of her emotions had hit her…and hit her hard. Basically, she was a grump all week, allowing herself to feel angry, as well as disappointed and sad about life being interrupted. At the end of the conversation I casually pointed out how healthy it was to go through that process. I reminded her how important it is for her to take care of her emotional self. Which means, learning to identify emotions, allow the emotions, share the emotions (when appropriate), and purge the emotions so you do not carry them around with you subconsciously. She agreed and said how wonderful it was for her to have a Dad who is a therapist….not.!! She did say it felt good to talk about (share), which will lead to the ultimate goal….to purge them.
Here’s the thing. Sometimes, we feel stressed, grumpy, sluggish, edgy, tired, “off”, heavy, depressed, anti-social, easily distracted and unfocused. Often times…most of the time….it is due to emotions going unresolved and building up. Everyone need to develop their own style and their own way of doing the process explained above.
- Find time to identify how you are feeling from day to day, especially when you are feeling any or all of the above mentioned.
- Allow yourself to feel the emotions and do not rush yourself through the process. Stronger emotions need more time. Allow yourself a few minutes or up to an hour or longer.
- Share your feelings when appropriate. Sometimes the emotions linger until you address an issue with another. Often times, this may mean potential conflict or receiving defensiveness or strong emotion back from others. The process of dealing with that alone I’ll save for another entire blog.
- Purge your feelings. Feel them long enough and share them as needed until you literally feel them ease out of you.
I promise you this. If you practice the above process, you will be less stressed, less grumpy, less sluggish, have more energy, be “on” your game, feel lighter, happier, and able to focus and concentrate better. Trust me. I have no doubts.